What was hard for me is thinking up how to start my story and how to end my story.
My next step is to make my storeys shorter and more descriptive.
can you come up with a story?
The Great Escape!! It was a stormy night on Saturday my grandpa just passed away then we heard on TV someone had dug the body out and the person who had put the body in the hole is gone.
Let's get to the start so my name is Alex and my friends are Fletcher and Jayden we had superpowers my superpower is to turn into Pokemon,Fletcher's power is to turn indivisible and mimic himself also other things, Jayden`s power is to shape shift.We were going to a summer theme park on Saturday, we heard some sad news my grandpa passed away it started to get stormy so we headed home when we got home me Fletcher and Jayden watched the sun get covered in pich dark clouds we ran inside lightning flashed we turned the TV onto Nickelodeon we loved it but it got intercepted by the superhero news it said¨ Alex's grandpa has escaped from the grave and all the other dead people there also stormy with a chance of apocalypse, we heard a deathly scream so we head outside to see what the comosin was it was someone getting their brains eaten zombies started to come out of the graveyard.Me Jayden and Fletcher started to light the zombies on fire with our matches and kicking the zombies butts until there was one zombie left so I said to the zombie ¨ do you want to go to your grave¨ the zombie nodded as the zombie hobbled away to the grave butt man came parashoting down from the butt mobile and sent that zombie to its mamma and I light its shirt on fire after that i said ¨I love fire¨ after that fireworks light up the sky also the clouds on fire.
Hi Alex
ReplyDeleteWOW! What an interesting story, I found it a bit scary. It would be great if you could use some more adjectives (describing words) in your story, that would allow the reader to be able to really understand what the characters and the setting of the story looked like. You are doing some amazing work Alex, keep it up!
Sarah
Hi Alex. What an imagination! It sounds like being a super hero can be quite terrifying. Next time could you use some full stops and capital letters. That would make it easier for the reader to understand. God job.
ReplyDeleteYou are so creative Alex. This story had everything- Zombies, school friends, parachutes, TV -I also love the image that you put with it as well. I think that Mrs Rooney has some great tips about full stops and capital letters. But it is an excellent story and I am proud - Ka pai
ReplyDeletecool i like how you did the cool picture
ReplyDeleteKia ora Alex,
ReplyDeleteyour post reminds me of playing zombie apocalypses at my old house with my siblings. My favourite part of the story was when Butt Man came in, maybe next time you could at some full stops and capital letters. Anyways its still good keep it up :)